Logan Paul is the new spokesperson for Raytheon. The app determined an automatic synergy and decided it was time for you to learn how to buy and sell “shitcoins” and drop $25k on mint quality unopened pokemon booster packs.

It’s time to leave your silly Robert and Gareth behind and come join us in the land where showing suicided bodies in a Japanese forest is the new content.

I have nothing helpful to say but being forced to listen to Logan Paul is a flavor of dystopia that even Orwell wasn’t cruel or mad enough to imagine. Fingers crossed for you.