I’ve got to get up on some Halo again. That was absolute peak.

Suck it blue!

Im getting hand cramps just looking at that image

Stardew Valley was totally, unquestionably copying harvest moon. And its fantastic.

but I dont feel I have the expertise.

Probably true, but everyone starts out like that, and its already broke. Either you fix it and youre a hero, or it stays broke and whatever

Me and my mates would get on the train together on online, put max bounties on each other and try to take on the entire lobby.

They’d be as well carrying on. Its in a pretty unique position as being a game that people are talking about before its even finished, which is pretty uncommon for most titles, and can be “the game they tried to ban” which did wonders for Manhunt, GTA and Postal.

Lol gramps here thinks bots are AI skullemoji skullemoji bro

Sitting in a shit hole playing house flipper cleaning up shit holes.

Thats seriously mental to me. Who the hell can write about games while unable to even double jump?

Its like being a music journalist and not even hearing about the Beatles.

Indepth tutorials told by dialogue boxes. Run 5 steps.

[Hey player!]

[You know some boxes can be moved right?]

[Just walk up to the box]

camera pans 3 feet to the left to show the box in the centre of the screen

[Press X to grab it]

[And when youre done press X to let go]

[Im sure youll find many uses for this during your adventure]

[Why not try it on that box over there?]

<hmmmm. Seems like im going to need to move that box if I want to get anywhere>

When you get near the box a massive X symbol flashes madly and unmissably above your head, and theres lines on the floor showing where it needs to be pushed to, which is also the only way its programmed to move, literally impossible to do wrong, and you push it like 5 feet.

[Wow! You did it! Looks like you can get to the next area now!]

<I should probably remember that, it could be useful in the future>.

You’re now free to play the game, all the way to the next room, where you’ll spend way longer than necessary learning something a fucking 4 year old could figure out, and you dont even need figured out because its been a staple of games since before you were even born.

Long cutscene that you’ve tried so hard to reach. Will pressing start pause the game or skip it forever?

Its too big to fail at this point. Everyone plays it because everyone plays it.

The absolute moment i get a proper, regimented bed time for all the kids sorted I’m signing up.

They can “run, cry sis”

South Park pretty much nailed it in the chinpokomon episode

I thought so too. I try with my boy I really do. Ive got him understanding that mtx are the work of Satan, but beyond that I cant help him.

Its not the parents fault, its just how its going.

As a kid I wanted pokemon cards, because all the other kids had pokemon cards and were showing off how many pokemon cards they had and it was on TV that you GOTTA CATCH EM ALL and the cool kid had a shiny raichu and I was a loser because I didnt have one so I really wanted one so I needed pokemon cards.

It didnt mean my parents failed me. It means toy manufacturers have all but weaponised marketing/propaganda and children are especially susceptible.

In my example, replace shiny raichu card with Peter Griffin skin.

Prospects must be dire to want to get back into a company that would (and definitely would because they did) do that.

Might and magic : clash of heroes by far, but the story/overworld bits in between the actual gameplay take too long.

I was hearing people talking about innovative brand new mechanics with the QTE parry system. I was so excited because how could it be new? What could they possibly have done? And its basically Mario RPG super hard mode.

Persona. I didnt play it to the end. Not even sure I past the tutorial. So many text boxes. So much dialogue.

Probably. The dev has already made the sale. The usual argument from pirates that will never be settled “I was never going to buy it anyway so they lost no money”. But this way they’ve already made the sale. No harm no foul. With the receipts to back it up.

Never completed this, got the final boss down to like 1hp a few times. I never thought you’d get a real end sequence, I thought they’d find a way to shaft you to force you to try again.

Maybe he falls an inch short of the jump required to reach the exit or whatever

“Perceived opportunity presented”

Shareholders keep saying AI at me, so now I gotta do something. Sorry guys.

I’m taking the bait again for old times sake if nothing else. I hope he proves everyone wrong, it will be a fantastic end to his saga, and we’ll get something great.

When we’re let down again, we’ll still have something fun to play with and getting tricked by Molyneuxs big ideas will be like opening a time capsule from a more civilised age.

Oh yeah, falling for Molyneuxs hype again. Take me back to when things made sense. Thats the good stuff.

Goodluck with that. Hope it works out.

I mean it won’t, for sure it wont, but we can hope.

Oh my god, theyre gonna activate the ring!

Most recently Trials Rising. Its the worst of the series ive played so far, but i hadn’t played one in about 10 years and id forgotten how funny some of the crashes are.

High on Life got one good laugh from me right at the start, where you’re playing as Buck, and the tutorial guy is hyping you up and talking about how thats your ex wife’s new boyfriend you gotta kill.

After that I enjoyed it, but the humour never got a proper laugh out of me.

Edit : no wait it did when you first get the knife.

They were useful in the past as a magazine by the toilet really helped.

For sure you’d need to get grips immediately for it to resemble a controller.

You need to get cod because everybody has cod. Its cod. You ever told a colleague/schoolfriend/acquaintance/anyone that you like video games? Their next question is “what prestige cod are you”. Cod is love. Cod is life. Cod is the game. You’re not a loser are you?

To be honest, once that starts happening I wont be worried about my digital library. I’ll be so pissed that ill just stop spending any money on any games ever again. I’ll be back to sailing the high seas.

I tried making that point on reddit. You wouldn’t believe the amount of down arrows that came at me.

Absolutely they should. PvPvE is great but its way too intense and sweaty for a long session.

+1 for dark souls. It just felt like playing Space Ace all over again

Did you at least do the Sith planet? Thats where the game peaked other than the finale.

My one note is the water texture. I dont like it when its visible tiled.

Other than that - pure excitement.